What Is God’s Will?
God’s will can be described as his sovereign overseeing and directing of things still yet to come (Psalm 115:3, 135:6, Dan. 4:35, Isaiah 46:10, Rom. 18:28). Jesus in Gethsemane notes, “Not my will but yours be done” as a humble act of submission towards the Father’s sovereign will.
Sometimes, the will of God seems counterintuitive to His character. John Piper speaks to this well when he notes:
God disapproves of some of what he ordains to happen. That is, he forbids some of the things he brings about. And he commands some of the things he hinders. Or to put it most paradoxically: God wills some events in one sense that he does not will in another sense
Does God Want Me To Have Depression?
Naturally, this still leaves many questions unanswered. Least of these is the thought that God wants someone to have depression. In order to situate this answer appropriately, it would be helpful to note the difference between wanting something to happen vs. willing something to happen.
For example, did God want Jesus to suffer and die? Did he enjoy it? Of course not. But was it His will that He would suffer and die? Absolutely. The line between these two sentiments is blurry, but is essential in order to not confuse the will of God with the character of God. God did not take pleasure in His son bloodied on a tree, nor does He take pleasure in one’s chronic debilitating depression.
Is It God’s Will That I have depression?
The Westminster Larger Catechism describes the chief end of man as to enjoy God and be with Him forever, this is God’s authoritative will. And yet, mentioned previously, God’s will also embodies his cosmic and authoritative awareness of all things still yet to come. Nothing acts outside of God’s will.
In accordance with His perfect and sovereign will that all people would come to know and enjoy Him, I believe that God’s will does allow depression. Yet, this is not what God originally intended. Depression is a contrasting signpost to what was (Garden of Eden), and what will be (Christ’s 2nd coming).
So in one sense, it is God’s will that one has depression. In another, it is not.
Did God Give Me Depression?
Understanding something is going to happen vs intentionally orchestrating something to happen are two entirely different things. Depression is a result of the fall, and the fall is a result of the free will God has given to his creation.
Without free will, true love would not exist. Without a choice, love in its purest form cannot exist. Free will is the precursor to Christ’s death on the cross, for without free will, the fall of Adam and Eve would not have happened.
All of these qualifiers lay an important foundation in order to understand the unlikely scenario that God is intentionally giving someone depression. Although there are biblical examples of God’s punishment for sin, it would be presumptuous to render God the orchestrator of one’s chronic depression.
Why Do I Have Depression?
The will of God is both authoritative and sovereign, a cosmic awareness and facilitating of what is to come, nothing surprises God. And yet, many of these biblical based beliefs seemingly do not offer the appropriate satisfaction and explanation for why someone struggles with depression. This can be frustrating, and tempting to simply render God a moral monster.
However, for someone struggling with debilitating depression and wondering why, I want to offer a perspective with as much tenderness and gentleness I can muster: God has allowed your depression as a manifestation of Adam and Eve’s fall in Eden, but He does not take joy in it, nor was it ever originally intended to be. Furthermore, Christ is not asking you to mute your anger by manufacturing some sort of unrealistic joy in the midst of depression. Rather, I imagine him kneeling beside you, embracing you, and letting you know that he sees you and is grieving with you over your depression.
Often, it seems as though life is a slave to death and despair. Rather, I would argue that death and despair (like debilitating depression) are a slave to life. For the more death and despair increases, the more grace abounds! Death is the servant of life. Depression is the servant of Christ’s redeeming power. Though it may not happen while on earth, He is coming, and He will make all things new.
This is the process of lament, to intentionally press in and observe just how much death, despair, and destruction there is in life and conclude that this cannot be the end. This will not be the end. Christ is coming again, our hope is true.